there’s so much crap, i don’t even know where to begin. should i haplessly try to explain myself? should i not give a fuck? desperately explaining myself would be the same as desperately trying to rectify the impression people have of me. should i even give a fuck what people think of me? i shouldn’t. but do i? yes. i’m obsessed with it, it pains me to find out about some random girl disliking me, i can’t help but to think that somehow i’ve done something to cause her to dislike me. the fact that these people have never really spoken to me in my entire life makes me that much more pathetic. how could i think i’m awesome when i cry after every performance and never perform unless someone asks me to? how could i think i’m pretty when i spend my days trying to find ways to conceal my flaws? how could i be boastful about my “wealth” when i lie about where i live just to hide it? whatever.